Become more aware of the language you use. Are you giving away your power to others?
Our language is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility.
“That’s me. That’s just the way I am.” I am determined. There’s nothing I can do about it.
“I can’t do that. I just don’t have the time.” Something outside me – limited time – is controlling me.
“If only my wife were more patient.” Someone else’s behaviour is limiting my effectiveness.
“I have to do it.” Circumstances or other people are forcing me to do what I do. I’m not free to choose my own actions.
That language comes from a basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility. I am not responsible, not able to choose my response.
Stephen R. Covey, Daily Reflections of Highly Effective People.